10 Things Happy People Do to Stay Happy

By Lynn Newman

“Here’s a little song I wrote. You might want to sing it note for note. Don’t worry, be happy.” ~Bobby McFerrin 

I was one of those people that when asked what they want in life, would say, “I just want to be happy…”

In my past, I suffered from debilitating depression. There was a period when getting the dry-cleaning and buying toilet paper was difficult enough.

So, I made it my mission to study what happy people do to stay happy, then I started doing what they were doing. And my happiness increased until I became one of those people I used to be envious of.

Here’s a list I use now on a daily basis as a reminder to increase my happiness:

1. Give yourself permission.

Permission to be who you are; permission to laugh big, to cry when you need to, to fail brilliantly, to make stuff; permission to fall apart, breakdown, and get back up again; permission to be different and unique all onto your own; permission to go too far and reach your dreams.

2. Don’t take yourself so seriously.

Hold yourself with a “light hand.” Laugh at your foibles with amusement.

When things get tough or stress arises, lift your shoulders with an “oh well…” Know that it’s never as big or life devastating as your mind thinks.

Happy people trust that whatever glitch happens will work itself out.

They give a “Ha! Ha!” and a “So what? Who cares? Big Deal! Why not?” when met with resistances.

3. Don’t self-ruminate.

I remember a friend of mine from Mississippi saying, “Lynn, when are you gonna’ stop starin’ at your own belly button…?” (Insert: Southern drawl.)

I learned happy people don’t fixate on themselves and their problems. They don’t over-analyze the issue du jour.

When they start to get stuck on a problem or in their head, they put their attention on something else.
I remind myself to not have to have it all figured out: Get outside. Go back to your work. Plan something fun.

4. Don’t compare.

Comparison has been compared to a little death. When we compare ourselves to others, we harm ourselves.

Happy people know that they’re no better or less than another person. Someone will always be at a “more evolved place” and someone will always be “less-evolved.”

Note to self: Be concerned with only how to do your best and that’s all.

5. Make adjustments.

When something isn’t going your way, when your mood dips, or when you feel “off,” stay curious and self-aware. Fine-tune the energy in your body by making adjustments.

If you eat something that makes you feel poor, why eat it? Pay attention if that glass of wine the night before makes you feel crappy in the morning or that slice of pizza made you bloated or that ice cream caused you to crash, losing your focus and energy.

When you’re feeling stuck or heavy, take a walk, do something different than your normal routine, meet up with a friend.

If feeling anxious or stressed, tune-up with extra sleep, meditation/yoga or a hot bath…

6. Be of service and know how to take care of yourself.

Happy people want to give back. They have plenty to share. They volunteer, take time out to help a friend, offer to connect people to others for their betterment, and aren’t in need of getting anything back.

Commit to service but also stay aware of how to take care of yourself. When your energy gets depleted, remember to not give away to the point that you lose focus on your own emotional/mental/physical/spiritual health.

Have loving boundaries to care for yourself so that you have more to give.

7. Choose uplifting friendships.

When we have friendships and conversations that are uplifting, supportive, and loving, with people interested in our betterment, we are on a faster track to our own enlightenment.

If you hang out with someone and don’t feel great afterward, see less of that person and seek out other friendships.

Know which friends increase your happiness and nurture those relationships.

8. Be less interested in being happy and more interested in your peace of mind.

I used to think happiness was about being totally ecstatic. In order to balance out my feelings of hopelessness and depression, it seemed natural that my goal would be to be maximally blissed.
But with all the highs there’s a low—we eventually come down from it.

Remember not to get attached to the highs and focus more on experiencing peaceful aliveness.
When your life is at peace, there’s a relaxed balance; and the chances of sustained happiness and contentment increases.

9. Use your senses.

As they say, the ordinary is extraordinary.
Happy people receive pleasure from enjoying the simple joys in life, and usually they’re connected to our senses. This subtle awareness creates significant moments of happiness.
I discovered the pleasures I receive in the:

• Warmth of a teacup in my hands on a cold winter day
• Taste of a square of dark chocolate melting on my tongue
• Dance music in my cycle class that wakes me up
• Smile of a stranger on the street
• Aroma of my favorite essential oil and when people say, “You smell so good!”

Continue to mark pleasant sense experiences in your mind and carry them throughout your day to increase your spirits.

10. Don’t make your intimate relationships the end-all-be-all.

I used to think the person I was in a relationship with was there to give me my happiness rather than increase it.

Happy people understand that those they are in relationship with are an “addition to,” not a completion of them. They live full lives so that at the end of the day they have so much more to share.
A loving reminder: Don’t rely on your partners to shift your moods, heal you, or fill your empty spaces. And remember it’s not your responsibility to do that for your partner either.

Support is an important part of relationship. We’re there on the bad days with compassion and a loving embrace. We’re there on the good days to cheer.

But mostly, we rely on ourselves to give that to ourselves. We trust that our partners can wrestle with their own demons. We offer space for them to discover his or her happiness, while we focus on creating our own.

What might you put your focus on to continue to increase your own happiness?

Read More: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-things-happy-people-do-to-stay-happy/

Taken: Brides

They came for elderly, living or departed. Then they came for your kids. Now, they've have come for your brides. Sounds like a tagline for a horror movie doesn't it?

We have the police force to catch the criminals. For everyone else, there's JAIS.

Whoever thinks Malaysia is not an Islamic country is clearly delusional. Malaysia was never a secular state in it's full sense because we enforce Sharia Laws. A secular country does not instituitionalise religious laws. Secularism separates state and religion.

Red indicates states with state religions. Blue indicates those without state religions aka secular. Source- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secular_state

In the scale between liberalism and theocracy in Malaysia, and judging by recent and past developments, the scale tilts in favour of religion.

The Muslim religious authorities have been slowly asserting their powers for the past 20 years. Many incidents such as this that have been publicised through the years, and then forgotten. The people have short memories. Everytime an incident is publicised, they react as though it's something new.

I can't speak for the Muslims, but the possibility of Buddhist monks or Hindu priests doing the same, is close to zero. Because the Buddhists and Hindu communities will not tolerate such meddling and abuse.

Excerpts from an article:

Jais denies raiding Hindu temple, says wanted to speak to bride about her religion 

 - http://news.malaysia.msn.com/tmi/jais-denies-raiding-hindu-temple-says-wanted-to-speak-to-bride-about-her-religion

• only investigating complaints from the public and took a statement from the bride to ascertain her religious status. 

I wonder which members of the public complained. I suspect it would have to be those close to the bride and bridegrooms' families. It also proves that JAIS have absolute authority over Muslims.

• Checks on the bride's MyKad showed that she was Muslim, and Jais officers took her away for questioning before she was released. 

• department acted under Selangor’s Non-Islamic Religions (Control of Propagation Among Muslims)

In this country, it is easy to convert to Islam. Even kids are able to do it. But to get out, not so easy. And in this case, the bride being a Muslim, will not be able to marry any guy who is not a Muslim. It's the law. She will need to go through the lenghty process to change her religion out of Islam.

• Jais's actions have been condemned by the Malaysia Hindu Sangam, the Bar Council and the Hindu Rights Action Force (Hindraf)

• The Bar's human rights committee co-chair Andrew Khoo said Jais's action of going into the temple was tantamount to trespassing. 

• "We have a serious problem in this country. The civil service is dominated by Malay and Muslim-centric officers who bulldoze their personal beliefs in the supremacy of their religion in the government administration. - P. Waytha Moorthy 

JAIS would be considered to have trespassed if the temple was closed. If it happened during visiting hours, it is open to the public. Morever, they have authority to do so because a Muslim was in the compound. Remember, Muslims are under their authority.

Apparently, the bride's father converted the kids to Islam when they were young, before he abandoned them. The kids grew up as Hindus, so I presume the rest of the family and their mother are Hindus. Has it ever occured to anyone why such conversion incidences are so prevalent among Hindus?

Anyway, even if this couple managed to get married and have kids, what are the chances that JAIS will not come after their kids years down the road?

To avoid future problems, perhaps it should be regulated that when non-Muslims convert to Islam, their families should be notified and reactions recorded. For minors, consent from both parents should be mandatory.

But the easiest solution is to just keep out of people's personal lives.

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Hindraf: Jais raid on Hindu wedding unlawful

PETALING JAYA: The NGO Hindraf has accused the Selangor Islamic Religious Affairs Department (Jais) of conducting an unlawful and unconstitutional raid on a wedding reception that was being held in a Hindu temple.

“This action by Jais clearly shows disrespect to the sensitivities of non-Muslims and their place of worship. They clearly crossed the boundaries of their jurisdiction,” said Hindraf chief, P Waythamoorthy.

“The overzealous attitude by the Jais officers shows that they are given a free hand to interfere into the personal life of a non-Muslim individual and they seem to have impunity from the law.
“The absolute arbitrary power of these Jais officers to interfere into the non-Muslim affairs needs to be stopped immediately.

“There is a clear infringement of Article 11 of the supreme law of this country as seen in this matter.”
Yesterday Jais stopped a Hindu wedding in Petaling Jaya and detained the 32 year old bride.

Jais are investigating the case under the 1988 Enactment (Control of Propagation Amongst Muslims), which cites it as an offense to persuade, influence or incite any Muslim to change their faith.
According to a Jais official, the bride’s identity card identifies her as a Muslim.

“The woman did not know that her father had registered her and three of her siblings as Muslims.
“She only found out when a relative saw their birth certificates,” the unnamed Jais official was quoted as saying in a Malay news daily yesterday.

Her father, who had abandoned her a long time ago, had been responsible for registering her as a Muslim but she was raised and grew up as a Hindu.

She said that she had gone to the National Registration Department (NRD) to make a change on the religious status in her MyKad, once in 2007 and again last April.

She failed on both attempts as she was unable to obtain her father’s signature. - http://www.freemalaysiatoday.com/category/nation/2014/06/02/hindraf-jais-raid-on-hindu-wedding-unlawful/

The Invention of Lying

Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

Bertrand Russell's Message to the Future

Bertrand Russell on God

The Three Passions of Bertrand Russell

Paul McCartney on Bertrand Russell & Views on War

Bertrand Russell on Smoking

Bertrand Russell - Face to Face Interview (BBC, 1959)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bertrand_Russell

And also something about his views on society and world government. New World Order?

http://www.sovereignindependentuk.co.uk/2013/07/30/bertrand-russell-on-the-new-world-order-2/

Religion: The Lack of Respect

Recently, I've posted on Zaid Ibrahim's take on conversion here: Zaid: Crackdown on conversions the way out of ‘Allah’ impasse

Today, I would like to expand a little more on the subject of religious conversion.

The chart above is taken from Buddhanet.net, which shows number of adherents in terms of percentage. The chart below presents the estimated absolute numbers.

Both Christianity & Islam are the world's largest religion, in that order. Adherents from both claims that their respective religion has been growing in numbers. I don't doubt it, since the world population is expanding, it's natural. But there's another important factor which has contributed to the growth, which is conversion through proselytisation.

Conversion

In light of the recent controversy surrounding the restriction of non-Muslims to use the word "Allah" which is one of the 35 words (or more perhaps?) in the list, it is imperative that we get to the root cause instead of the symptom.

As mentioned in Zaid's article, the root cause has always been conversion & proselytisation, which he suggested to be made illegal, and to which I very much agree.

Firstly, banning words will not solve the problem. Because the problem did not arise from words.

Secondly, even if the ban is lifted, it still would not solve the problem. Because the problem is not with the freedom to use those words.

We have to first ask why was this restriction implemented in the first place? Conversion.

Both would not agree to this because both wants to continue with proselytisation. And each wants to have the advantage, the upper hand... the higher ground. Which is why nobody seems to be interested to comment on Zaid's article.

This is what makes Malaysians the greatest hypocrites in the world... they would rather focus and debate on the religious scripts, history, language, who did what first, etc... chasing their own tails.

Apparently, this is not a new issue but dates back to the 80s...

MALAYSIAN BISHOPS RESPOND TO RESTRICTIONS ON BIBLES, ´SENSITIVE WORDS´ ISSUE

The bishops of Malaysia, responding to an attempt by the government to prohibit Christians from using certain words deemed sensitive to Muslims, say Christians have a right to use them all.

"Our Catholic bishops have taken up this matter and our stand is that we have the right to use all 16 words," said a report issued June 14 to Catholics by the Catholic Research Center here.

The report also listed incidents since a 1981 gazette notification banning the Alkitab (Indonesian-language Bible). This and subsequent events, it said, form a "concerted plan to deprive Christians of their rights to practice their faith freely, as guaranteed in our Constitution."

Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian language) and Bahasa Malaysia are similar.
After correspondence between Archbishop Soter Fernandez of Kuala Lumpur and the Home Affairs Ministry, the banned words were reduced to four.

"However, we are still adamant, and insist that we guard our right to pray and use whatever words we have in the Alkitab," the report said.

According to the report, Catholic Sabah, newspaper of Kota Kinabalu diocese in East Malaysia, received a letter in February from the Home Affairs Ministry prohibiting use of certain Arabic words in Christian publications.

Officials enclosed alternative words for Christians, as follows:

Prohibited words Alternative
1. Al-Kitab (Bible) Baibel
2. Allah (God) Tuhan
3. Firman (say) Berkata
4. Rasul (messenger) Utusan
5. Syariat (teachings) Ajaran
6. Imam (believe) Percaya
7. Kaabah Tidak ada gantian
8. Ibadah (worship) Amalan
9. Injil Baibel
10. Baitullah Tidak ada gantian
11. Wahyu (revelation) Revelasi
12. Nabi (prophet) Prophet
13. Syukur (praise) Terima Kasih
14. Zikir (remembrance) Mengingat/menvebu
15. Solat (pray) Sembahyang
16. Doa (implore) Memohon

The 1981 ruling stated: "The printing, publication, sale, issue, circulation or possession of the Alkitab in Indonesian is prohibited, as it is considered prejudicial to the national interest and security of the Federation."

In 1982, the Council of Churches in Malaysia (CCM) wrote to Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad, asking him to lift the ban.

The CCM said it "denies Bahasa Malaysia-speaking Christians their fundamental right of practicing their religion, since the Alkitab is the only version of the Holy Bible available to them for their daily devotions and public worship."

The letter and request for a meeting received no response, but the government amended the notification to say, "The above prohibition shall not apply to possession or use in churches of such publication professing the Christian religion throughout Malaysia."

This, the report says, meant the Alkitab and Perjanjian Baru (Indonesian-language New Testament) may only be used in Christian church buildings.

Possession, use or distribution in homes, shops or any other place would thus be illegal and liable to punishment.

CCM representatives, including then-Auxiliary Bishop Anthony Selvanayagam of Kuala Lumpur and Jesuit Father Paul Tan, Catholic Research Center director, met the day following the 1982 amendment.

Then-Deputy Prime Minister and Home Affairs Minister Musa Hitam did not attend, but Datuk Rozhan Kuntom, meeting chairperson, said Musa Hitam would lift the ban, on condition that the Alkitab not be circulated among Muslims.

"As stated, according to the provision in the amended order," the report said, "Christians (were) not even allowed to buy their Alkitab from shops, nor allowed to possess their personal copies in their homes."

Church leaders met with Home Ministry officials in 1982 to discuss the amended order, and in 1983 several of them, including retired Archbishop Dominic Vendargan of Kuala Lumpur, signed a memorandum regarding the Bible in Bahasa Malaysia, the Alkitab and related matters.

"Christ-ians are in fact unable to purchase and therefore use the Alkitab in the performance of their religious exercise, due to the prohibition of their sale throughout Malaysia," the memorandum said.

"More and more of us Christians are using Bahasa Malaysia in our daily devotions and in our Church services, but are greatly disturbed and distressed because of this constraint placed upon us by the respective ban."

"It is almost two years now that Christians have not been able to purchase the Alkitab locally," they wrote.

In 1984, the Christian Book Center in Sibu City, Sarawak, East Malaysia, received a letter informing them that copies of the Alkitab and Perjanjian Baru ordered by them would be destroyed.

Christian leaders in Kuala Lumpur urged Musa Hitam to stop the destruction of Christian Scriptures, saying "the Christian Community in Malaysia regards this as a sacrilege."

After a letter was sent by Archbishop Fernandez and other Church leaders, a meeting was held with Deputy Home Affairs Minister Kassim, who decided:

1. The Alkitab copies held in Sibu customs would not be destroyed, but Perjanjian Baru copies held in Johor customs would be returned to Singapore.

2. The government would allow Christian leaders to appoint agencies importing the Alkitab, provided the government was informed.

3. The list of words such as "Allah," forbidden to non-Muslims, would be compiled and given Christians.

After further meetings, 10 outlets throughout Malaysia were authorized to buy the Alkitab and Perjanjian Baru from Indonesia.

But, the report says, the agreement did not filter down to minor officials.

In 1984, 450 copies of the Alkitab, 200 copies of the Perjanjian Baru and 1,860 other Christian books were confiscated in Sabah.

Kuala Lumpur Church leaders again protested to Home Affairs.

"And so, as far as the importation and distribution of the Alkitab and Perjanjian Baru is concerned, where do we stand? Only 10 authorized ´agencies´ appointed by Christian Churches are permitted to import them," the report said.

- SOURCE (It's a Catholic site by the way...)

I think it is common knowledge that both Christians & Muslims have been very active, if not aggressive, in their proselytisation efforts. However, in Malaysia, it is illegal to proselytise to Muslims, but not the other way round. In fact, as I've highlighted before in previous posts, the rights of Muslims (and the converts) reign supreme over other religions.

So, if both Islam & Christianity is expanding, then which religions are declining? My guess would be the Buddhists, Taoists, Hindus, and other minority religions.

Respect

Why are some people so eager to convert others to their religion? Is it because they think they are answering a higher calling, and made it their duty to do so? Or perhaps, deep down, it is actually a lack of respect towards other religions?

And nobody does it with more zeal and passion than some new converts, whom in their warped sense of logic, feel that it is their duty to ridicule & insult their own community's traditions, culture & religion, often to the delight and amusement of their new found "brothers"... in the likes of Ridhuan Tee, Ann Wan Seng, et al. Ask yourselves, is that the right thing to do? Why do they hate their own so much?

It is no wonder that there are so many cases of body snatching for Muslim burial, child conversions and custody issues. They feel that it is their duty, and right, to claim the body for an Islamic burial despite the protests from the family members of different faith, causing untold misery and sadness to the family. So, much for compassion.

On the other side, we have the evangelist Christians, born again Christians, or other smaller denominations like Jehovah's Witness, etc. building a vast network of members and churches within the country and without. You will hardly find a Christian family who have family members from different faiths. If a member converts, they will make it their duty to convert the whole family and their relatives as well.

Why? Because they think that it is their divine duty to "save" you. Because they think that your religion is false, fake, and you will be condemned to eternal hell. So much for respect.

The fact is, there is no freedom in religion. On one hand, they demand freedom, on the other, they restrict freedom. Humans can't deal with freedom of religion.

Death

Death is often the main motivation and factor that drives a religious conversions & proselytisation. Because it is the one thing that humans fear the most. Death. The more important teachings are forgotten or neglected. Adherents are more concerned about what happens to them after death, rather than the present. And it is because of this fear & uncertainty that drives humans to seek refuge in religions. Religions that promises forgiveness for all sins, an eternal life and a wonderful place specially just for them, will attract the most followers.

Why do we see so much negative issues in religion these days? So many bad things are done in the name of religion. A religion is judged  by the actions of their followers. When religion is exploited, you will see the terrible things done which reflects negatively on that religion.

We won't see the true virtues and values of religions in politics, in the news, in wars, rallies, protests, conflicts, etc. We don't see it in powerful politicians, the rich and powerful, big corporations. Instead, we see the goodness in our everyday lives, on a personal level, in the community level. We see acts of kindness when someone offers a seat to and elder, care for abandoned animals, rendering help to the less fortunate, across race and religions.

That, my friends, is how religions are meant to work, on a personal level. Providing guidance to do the right thing, to know right from wrong. It's what you do with what you already have, that is important. It's the intention that's important, not the amount.

So are the Buddhists worried about death? Whether we end up in heaven or hell?  I think not...

Like they say... go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company... :)

Be Mindful

We’re sorry, says Buddhist chief high priest

Buddhist chief high priest K Sri Dhammaratana said as we live in Malaysia , we must be sensitive to other religions.

PETALING JAYA: Buddhist chief high priest K Sri Dhammaratana Nayake Maha Thera has apologised on behalf of a group of Buddhists who meditated in a surau in Johor recently.

“We would like to apologise to our Muslim brothers and sisters for the actions of a certain Buddhist group from Singapore in having their meditation session at the surau of a resort in Kota Tinggi,” he said in a statement today.

The chief high priest was referring to a viral video clip depicting a group of Buddhists led by a monk chanting inside a surau of a resort in Tanjung Sedili Besar.

The video showed the group sitting on mats while facing a picture of Buddha , which was placed on a table underneath Quranic verses that were hung on one of the walls.

“I advise Buddhists in Malaysia and Singapore to respect the religious sensitivities of other religionists while carrying out our own religious obligations,” added Dhammaratana. 

Using common sense

When contacted by FMT, Dhammaratana expressed hope that an incident of this magnitude would not repeat itself.

“I try my best to encourage Buddhists to not have this kind of incident in the future,” he said.

Declining to say whether the actions of the Buddhist group were right or wrong, he instead said: “We have to understand as we are living in Malaysia, you have to use a little bit of common sense.

“We should not make other people unhappy, we should try our best to make everyone happy.

“All Buddhists must at all time be conscious and aware of the fundamental principle expounded by Lord Buddha: ‘It is impossible to build one’s own happiness on the unhappiness of others’,” he said.

Police have since arrested the resort’s 45-year-old operator, a Singaporean with Malaysian PR status.

Known only as Ahmad, he was arrested yesterday afternoon at the Tanjung Sutera Resort. He has been remanded until Aug 16.

Police said the incident is being investigated under Section 295 of the Penal Code for injuring or defiling a place of worship with intent to insult the religion of any class.

-Source

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Resort owner who let Buddhists use surau remanded for 4 days

KOTA TINGGI: The owner of the resort in Tanjung Sedili Besar here, who had allowed a group of Buddhists to meditate in a surau, has been remanded for four days.

He was brought to the Session's Court here at about 9.30am Tuesday before court registrar Hairul Azhar Mohamad who approved the remand order until Friday.

The 45-year-old, who is a Singaporean with Malaysian PR status, was arrested Sunday afternoon at the Tanjung Sutera Resort, 40km from here.

Police said the incident is being investigated under Section 295 of the Penal Code for injuring or defiling a place of worship with intent to insult the religion of any class.

- Source

=================================================

Buddhists must be sensitive to the feelings of the people of other religions. It is unfortunate something like this happened, which should not have happened in the first place if we are careful. The manager should not have allowed the surau to be used for other religious functions. The tourists should have been a bit more mindful as well.

It's sad that the manager is arrested for this because I believe it was unintentional.

I sure most Buddhists regret that this incident happened and echos the thoughts of Venerable K Sri Dhammaratana.

Religion: Children's Conversion

M. Indira Gandhi with her two children

2013

Don't fear conversion law, public told

.....Politicians from both sides of the divide, civil society groups and the public have described Section 107(b) of the Bill, which allows a minor to be converted with the consent of only one parent, as unconstitutional......

.....Various groups have argued that the provision is not only unconstitutional but goes against an April 2009 Cabinet decision that children of an estranged couple should remain in the common religion of the parents at the time of marriage should one parent convert.....

......Malaysian Consultative Council Of Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Sikhism and Taoism, in a statement, objected to some of the provisions, which it said affected the rights of non-Muslims, created social injustice and went against the spirit of the Federal Constitution......

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Selangor, Perak muftis tell critics of child conversion law to back off

(Malay Mail) - The Cabinet’s 2009 ruling against unilateral child conversions to Islam is not applicable to Muslims, said Selangor Mufti Datuk Tamyes Abd Wahid, insisting that children in mixed-creed marriages must embrace Islam when one parent does so......

......In terms of custody law (child care), young children fall under the care of the mother. But in cases where there are different religions, the child should follow the religion of Muslim parent,” Tamyes (picture) was quoted as saying by the Sinar Harian news portal today.

“For example, if the father embraces Islam but the mother does not, then the religion of their underage children must follow the father’s,” he said......

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2012

Mother gets custody of children in Muslim convert case

A kindergarten teacher will have custody over her three children who were converted to Islam by her Muslim-convert former husband.

This is because Muhammad Ridzuan Abdullah, or K. Patmanathan as he was known before conversion, has lost his chance to appeal to the Federal Court the decision of an Ipoh High Court which granted custody of the children to M. Indira Gandhi.

A five-member panel led by Chief Justice Tun Arifin Zakaria dismissed Muhammad Ridzuan’s application for leave to appeal....

....On March 11, 2010, the Ipoh High Court granted Indira the custody of Tevi Darsiny (Ummu Salamah), 15, Karan Dinish (Abu Bakar), 14 and Prasana Diksa (Ummu Habibah), four, but allowed Ridzuan to visit his children once a week.....

....Ridzuan embraced Islam in April 2009 and subsequently converted his children to Islam without Indira’s consent.....

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2009

Conversion without consent

.....Mother fights back

The mother of the three converted children has started legal action in order to get her children back as Hindus.

Indira Gandhi’s story was front page news on two days in Makkal Osai. The first on 16 April was headlined My children should be returned to me as Hindus, Indira Gandhi appeals. In that report, she said she had no objections to her husband becoming a Muslim, but she wanted her three children back as Hindus. “This is a mother’s fight for her rights and I will not back down,” she said......

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Religion is a sensitive issue, especially here in Malaysia. By convention, the child would automatically take on the parent's religion, the religion the child is born into. It is only natural. However, when something like this happens, a Hindu father after converting to Islam, and secretly converting his children without the consent and knowledge of the mother who is a Hindu, it causes great distress to the family. Although this is a family matter, it raises concerns about the rights of other religions in this country, especially for children.

The issue in this particular case, I believe, is not so much on religion, but doing the right thing. Is what was done by Muhammad Ridzuan Abdullah morally right? Despite knowing it will cause distress and unhappiness to the family. It is the way it is done, that has created problems, questions and suspicions. Because of Malaysia's laws on religion, in particular Islam, conversions should not to be taken lightly.

In my opinion, in this case where the children would have to live with the decision for the rest of their lives, the right thing to so is to obtain the consent of both parents. Perhaps, since they were born Hindu, in the meantime, they can be schooled in both Hinduism and Islam. When they reach adulthood, they can make their choice. The parents should think of their children's happiness and well-being.

The children can only enjoy childhood once in their lifetime. With a bit of give and take, at least they will have happy memories.

Muhammad Ridzuan Abdullah aka K Patmanathan, the husband & father.